Introduction

Welcome to my online journal! What I post here is not consistent, and it doesn't fall into any one category. I post about my thoughts, my dreams, lifestyle, and anything else I might feel like posting!

Tuesday, November 29, 2011

Potential

It's possible that this weekend, I will be taking part in a personal photoshoot involving my roommate, my two kittens, and myself. Should be exciting? The photographer will be the woman who owned the cat who is the mother of our kittens.
On another note, now that I'll have some shifts at work that start at 11, I've been drinking again. And of course that means bright, fruity (gay) drinks that are filled with shots of vodka and occaisionally, sour puss? Yeah, girl drinks. But I've come up with a couple of combinations that are pretty damn delicious. First, a can of sparkling PC mango juice and two shots of raspberry Sour Puss. Second, half a cup of frozen berries blended with half a cup of Five Alive, a shot of vodka and a shot of raspberry Sour Puss (like a berry smoothie, but with notes of sour and a chill to it). Third, classic screwdriver with a twist, half a can of minute maid orange juice with half a cup of Five Alive and two shots of vodka. Oh, when I say half a cup, I mean half of the cup I'm going to be drinking out of. Not the conventional cup used for baking.
Anyway, the fact that I'm having a mixed up drink every night (granted, it's not heavy) is accounting for the fact that I'm losing sleep, and when I do sleep, I'm having a harder time waking up. So this 11 am start couldn't have come at a better time. I need the extra couple hours sleep every night, no matter how early I go to bed.
Besides that, I've been itching for a life that will be bigger than this. I'm single, and therefore alone; while I have a fantastic job that's fueling my curiosity for a better life, I feel so inferior. So many people that I know have gone on to do better things. All I have going for me is the fact that I have a good job, and I love it.  But I'm aching for being older. I'm aching for serious relationship, marriage, babies. I'm aching for embracing teenage life, partying, drinking, hooking up with random guys. I feel like until I'm suitably attractive, I can't have any of this. So I'm trying to work on that...but as always, I'm procrastinating, and I don't think I've made any progress.
I'm sad - basically, that's what I'm trying to get across - and I don't understand why. I don't deserve to be, considering I don't have any real reason to be. It's just self pity. As always. But that's enough for tonight...this pity party is over for tonight.
Quote: "This is a trip through a children's clothing store." - Clinton, What Not To Wear
Lyric: "Are you there, Jah? It's me, Ras Trent." - Ras Trent, The Lonely Island
Picture: Phoenix just being Phoenix. <3