So you think im alone, but being alones the only way to be, you step outside, you spin like fire...
There was a breakup involved, I think .
You want to be free, the ground's the only place to be, cause in this life, you spend time running from the gravity.
This is a cold war, you better know what you're fighting for.
This shit is serious because both my cats are sleeping on me, I am laying with a fuzzy blanket on the couch with no intent to get up (besides to rescue my computer cord from upstairs so my laptop didn't die) and I am listening to my new breakup/crying/#lolsadness playlist. Shit just got REAL.
However I have not yet changed my facebook status to single, it's just complicated atm.
Bye, bye, bye, bye, don't you cry when they say goodbye?
Other than that I got brave and made a dr appt for Monday. I don't know if I should be scared.
Sunny days, where have you gone? I get the strangest feeling you belong. Why does it always rain on me? Is it because I lied when I was 17? Why does it always rain on me? Even when the sun is shining I can't avoid the lightning.
I feel kind of numb about the whole thing. I wasn't happy, and I can't explain why, but I wasn't. How can someone who's unhappy make someone else happy? And no matter how many times I tried to explain, he just didn't GET IT. I mean...I don't want to call him dense or anything but it's like he just either didn't give a shit, or just didn't realize how grave my situation was becoming.
I have a history with depression, and it;s become increasingly bad in the past few weeks. Depression causes a lack of interest in many things that were once of interest. Relationships flounder. Days blend into one another. Simple tasks seem difficult and getting up in the morning becomes a challenge. It happens, but my main point for all this was the fact that he never truly understood the gravity of what was happening.
But, enough of that ramble, I'm going to go listen to some music and probably cry a little. Why do girls date boys? Why do women become depressed? It doesn't lead anywhere. I'll contemplate these things later.
Music lyrics quoted: Janelle Monae's "Cold War"
Rufus Wainwright's "Why does it always rain on me"
