Introduction

Welcome to my online journal! What I post here is not consistent, and it doesn't fall into any one category. I post about my thoughts, my dreams, lifestyle, and anything else I might feel like posting!

Sunday, January 1, 2012

Experience and Resolutions

Since it's just a few days until New Year's, I decided I'd start with my very complicated and personal blog entry about my obvious faults and how I intend to fix them. Of course, I doubt if I'll follow through, but I'll get to that part later in the post.
I'll be honest, the year kind of crept up on me. I look back on these months and wonder where the time all went. Well, I'll tell you where it went. It went to stress, procrastination, walking dogs, biting my tongue, and shifting most of my prespectives. Anyway, now to the nitty gritty stuff. Where to start.
Addresses: This year my address of residence changed three times. From my parent's house, to an apartment (which in hindsight was good experience-wise, but was not the best idea in the world), then to my roommate's parent's house. I wish I could afford to live in an apartment with just me, but at the same time I learned recently that being alone is destructive for me.
Jobs: My jobs shifted between three areas of the same building this year. In August it was announced that we would be closing the boarding area where I'd worked for almost a year. We spent a lot of time cancelling reservations and sending out newsletters to our loyal clients. It was very depressing. So for the month of September, I started packing for our second move that year, while simultaneously saying goodbye to the job I'd coveted for a better part of a year. It was a very painful and stressful part of my life.
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Okay, hello 2012. I managed to neglect posting this for many days and now I'm finally finishing it. Where was I?
I've covered jobs, and my experience moving from place to place.
Relationships: I experienced the biggest change of my life this summer, near the end of August. My long-standing relationship came to a confused and bitter end after over three years of happy dating. Well, it's not exactly your conventional breakup. We're each other's best friends, and we still live together, so it's not the easiest thing in the world to know you aren't "together" anymore, but you have to see each other every day. I was then swept up into an online excursion with someone I've known for a while, but have never met in person. I've covered a lot of that in earlier blog posts, so I'm not going to gab on about it more here. Now, coming to the end of the year, I have a mad crush on one of my friends (that my roommate has already expressed interest in, so I'm keeping quiet), and have had a texting conversation with a boy that lives on my sister's dorm floor at school who seems interested in me (though he hasn't said anything since last night, which technically was this morning, as it was after midnight). I really don't know where that's going. But I, as usual, have no inspiration at all to persue anything. And little to no self esteem to boot.
Overall Mental and Physical Health: Okay, I managed to gain weight this year. Between the stress of moving and over-indulgence with the holidays and living with two 21 year old guys, I put on more than I expected. This is yet another reason why I've been stressed and depressed this year. I've been very up and down with depression as well. Sometimes the bouts become so dreadful that I find I am sore all over and do not wish to move for anything. Anyway, that's not the point. The point is, I ended the year overweight and on and off depressed.
Friendships/Social Interaction: Through my fabulous job, I've made some new friends and found that I work best with cheerful people. I love having conversations with my coworkers in the quiet moments, and whenever I need help there's always someone I can ask. On the other hand, I rarely see my actual friends. When we were living in the apartment it was easier to meet up since my work schedule was a bit different - I often didn't start work till noon so people could come over any night and stay if they wanted. Now I start, on average, at 9 am. On Mondays I start at 8, and alternate early/late weeks with my coworker. One week, one of us is 9-5:30 Tuesday-Friday and the other is 11-5:30 Tuesday-Friday. The next week we switch. So now it's harder for me to just say "hey, come on over, any day is fine." I don't sleep very well, so I try to get to bed at a reasonable hour, and if people come over I'll never sleep.
OKAY. Now that I've covered that stuff, I'm going to cover resolutions. Hold on to your hats, people.
Addresses: This year, I'm staying put until I'm settled perfectly. That's the plan.
Jobs: There really isn't anything I can say here. It wasn't my fault that my first job fell through, and I got incredibly lucky that everything lined up so perfectly, allowing me to fall into the job I have now. I guess all I can say is I'm going to be the best employee I can be. :)
Relationships: I'm going to let what will be, be. Who knows what could happen when you let it.
Mental Health: If this depression persists, I resolve to see a doctor within the year. Anti-depressants scare me, but I think if it'll help me feel better and enjoy the life I've crafted for myself, I'll be willing to give myself a shot.
Physical Health: I have resolved to lose weight this year. I don't know how yet. I think I'll have to try a couple different tactics. Right now I'm working slowly on a Just Dance and walking routine (I usually walk to and from work). I'm also trying to buy groceries that are relatively healthy, while still giving myself easy meal options. Considering I'm super lazy, and I never cook since the kitchen is upstairs, I need things that don't require a lot of preperation. Right now I'm having soup with melba toast, or crackers and laughing cow cheese for my lunches on a daily basis at work. Of course I also bring a tea each morning in my mug, and usually a can of juice and a granola bar. The dinners change, sometimes I actually have something structured like cheese tortellinni with tomato cream sauce (rose), and sometimes it's just snacking like tortilla chips and hummus. I'm also working on a partially vegetarian diet, with the exception of chicken, turkey and fish.
Friends: I hope I'll be able to spend more time with my group in this coming year. Some people go to school, some live a little ways out of my town, but I hope we'll be able to get together more than a handful of times per year.
Okay, there we go! That's all my "experiences and resolutions" for this coming year. I would add more about the goings-on of this weekend, but I'm bored of writing this now, and I need something to say tomorrow.