I have to write down this really scary/emotionaly scarring/sickly dream.
You know how in dream sequences you can be in a familiar place, but it looks a little different? That is what this was.
At work in the treatment room we have two treatment tables, behind which is a sink, some supplies, and the surgery doors. So in this dream, I was lying on the treatment table, getting my knees examined. I was told there were multiple abcesses in them, and they would need to be excised immediately.
Now, I don't have a lot of medical knowledge, but what I know I know from veterinary medicine, and what I do know is abcesses aren't tumors, and they aren't excised. They're something that puffs up and causes infection, like if a dog swallows a stick and it punctures, they may get an abcess where it does so. That kind of thing. Certainly not something that is surgically removed. It is drained.
But anyway, in a hazy anesthetized state, I watched as two doctors (neither of which were vets, thank goodness) cut small marks in my knees (to release the pressure, I'm guessing) and then placed drains (the only thing that really tied what happened to an abcess). When they were finished, I had several drains sticking out of my legs in various places.
However, I'm remembering now that they used a local anesthetic which failed part way through, so even though I was under a general anesthetic (kind of), I could feel everything they did, and it was excruciating.
So following that, I woke and found most of my coworkers looking over me. I wanted to get off the table but they wouldn't let me.
As it turned out, the "tumor/abcess" things that apparently they took out and then drained (I don't know, it was a dream okay...none of this makes sense medically) were cancerous, malignant, and I had 12 months to live. They also told me that my blood work came back. I was 3 months pregnant.
At this point everything goes dark. I wanted to know if the surgery was going to hurt the baby. I wanted to get off the table. I wanted to get away from them.
Everyone seemed evil in a sense. They had told me I had accomplished my greatest dream - and that I would never get to see my child grow up. If the labor didn't kill me, I would have just under 6 months with my son or daughter. It was a very emotionally painful dream.
I awoke from it feeling rather sick.
