*Tuesday*
Today I opened the clinic (and will do so for the rest of the week as well). It's 8:00 and I'm still trying to wake up. There are a few bonuses to the early shift - the clinic is quiet, I go home at 4:30, and no one in my house is awake when I go upstairs to make my tea. There's nothing more awkward than being in the kitchen with my roommate's dad when we both require one specific corner of it. Okay, I'm exaggerating. My point is, it's easier when I am up there either too early for anyone else to be up, or too late so no one else needs the kitchen. Maybe this chronic shyness should be classified as a medical condition. Sigh. Anyway, a couple items of big news.
First - after two months of unemployment, my roommate now has a full time, well paying job at her dad's work cleaning boats. She'll actually be getting more hours than me, and will start at $12/hour, so she'll be making more money than me. Again. Luckily, since I bought groceries almost exclusively for the past two months, she will be buying groceries almost exclusively for the next two months. So on the next 3 to 4 paychecks, I don't have to budget for groceries! I'm pretty excited to have some disposable income. Maybe I'll save it all for an iphone...or a trip. Or I'll spend it on some pretty clothes, nice jeans, a new jacket. I've fallen back in love with clothes.
Second, I'm 20 (I know I already did a birthday post, but I have to do more recap. I just have to). Yup, my birthday came and went in a flurry of cake, food, presents and drunken movie-watching. The best things included a framed picture of Phoenix, a tiger-print fuzzy blanket, Tangled, and a menagerie or rainbow things. It was a pretty fun birthday. I had dinner, cake and presents with my family on Friday, as well as cake at work. Saturday we cleaned the house, went grocery shopping, bought alcohol, and friends came over. It was a great night filled with over-eating, drinking, movie-watching, talking, and Twister. Pretty great weekend. Of course due to not sleeping enough, I felt like shit on Sunday and Monday, and still not too great today. I don't do walking up early very well.
Alright! Third order of business. I have a crush. Yeah, I know my previous relationship ended in August, so it's only been like, five months or so. But for some reason I've been pulled blindly towards him. My roommate and antoher one of my best friends know. My friend told me that he likes someone "in the group". I don't dare entertain the thought that it might be me, regardless of the fact that I snuggle the blanket he gave me every night. I am so blocked by my fear of rejection that I would rather let myself believe it was not me than risk getting hurt. I mean come on, it's a crush, right? It'll go away, right? I'm not the type of person to really act on feelings anyway. My roommate thinks it'll be good for me to spend time with someone else. But I'm not so sure. I mean, I love her. I'm not in love with her, but I still need her in every aspect of my life. Yup, I'm a clingy sap. But I can't help it. My wall is up pretty high. If he really does like me, he's going to have a hard time breaking it down. I haven't had a crush in almost four years. It's insane to feel these almost juvenile butterflies in my stomach whenever he's around. God, I'm such a lame romantic.
I'm so freaking tired. I wish I could sleep in every morning like my roommate.
Payday next week is going to be a bit bigger check. Yay for more money.
I can't seem to keep a cohesive thought in my head.
*Wednesday*
Today I was more awake for work but only had 20 minutes to get ready and didn't have a tea. As a result, I'm hitting a downhill slope now. I have mango juice and the sugar in that is helping. Three euths today - lots of tears.
*Thursday*
I am so tired today I feel sick. My key didn't work in the staff door and I had to go in the grooming door, which set off the alarm.
*Friday*
I have had headache since yesterday afternoon that has yet to disappear. The SPCA kitten is lonely and it won't stop meowing. He scratched me yesterday in his hysteria. I want to bring him behind the desk with me but I don't want to get in trouble for it. What an odd set of days. I am so excited for today to turn into tonight so I can go home and relax for a bit. Complain, complain, complain.
***
Okay, so that's my week, as written in carefully hidden notes in my notebook behind the desk. Right now I'm actually technically into Saturday (as it's 12:16), and so much has happened. I spent the past 6 hours, more or less, texting my crush. Near the end of Friday night (more like, an hour ago) things actually started getting into the romantic side. He'd already confessed that he finds me attractive (which blew my MIND), and said he wanted to ask me something. I said sure. He said he'd confessed that he found me attractive and liked me and wanted to know what I thought of him. Being extra much brave, I told him I'd had a crush on him for some time. His reply was "wow, you sure hide it well". I confessed that I hide many feelings because I was afraid that he'd find it weird that as friends, I liked him. Apparently, he was scared of the same thing. He ended with the statement that he'll come over tomorrow and we can talk, and also that I made his night. I replied that he'd made my night too. I spent the next hour or so in a complete butterfly state of happiness and unexpected joy. What an amazing thing.
Now, however, I'm going to try to calm myself and sleep a lot. Then prepare for tomorrow. Gosh, I never want to forget how this feels.
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