SMQ (8)

71. What do you think about when you're falling asleep?

Depends on the day. Say, if I've been drinking, I usually just go to sleep, no problems, no questions asked. If it's an average weeknight, I usually calculate mentally the number of hours of sleep I'll get before waking up for work the next day. Sometimes I think about the day I just had, sometimes I think about last night's dream, sometimes I'm waiting for my cats to calm down and settle so I can actually get to sleep. Usually I sleep with one arm under the pillow and the other wrapped around something, so finding a comfortable position isn't exactly easy; sometimes I am thinking that I am uncomfortable. It depends on the day.

72. What is the most beautiful thing you've ever seen?

A certain someone's completely blissful, happy, genuine smile.

73. What is your favourite thing to do outdoors? Why?

My favourite thing lately has been taking the camera and wandering around in the forest, on the beach, along the trail...anywhere beautiful and natural, and taking photos of anything that strikes my creative bones. 

74. What would you write in a letter that you could send back to yourself as a teenager?

Considering I was still technically a teenager last year, this one won't be so easy. 

Dear teenage me,

This is your twenty-year-old self. I want you to know that even though your high school years weren't the best, to cherish them and the time spent with all your friends, because once you graduate, you'll hardly see any of them, and if you do, it's once or twice a year. I also want you to know that I regret not staying in piano till the bitter end (meaning, grade 8 piano), as seeing our sister's success in it made us insanely jealous. Never leave the one that loves you best. Come March 2013, it could have been five years. But I'm proud of you. While you feel that no one sees you, I am proud of you, and love you. Keep going, and you'll be rewarded.

75. What would you write in a letter you could send forward to yourself in ten years?

Dear 30 year old me,

I hope that you've made something of yourself. I wonder if you decided to become an author, or if you're a vet tech, or if you're still a receptionist. I wonder if you're a mother, as you always wanted to be. I wonder if you're married, where you're living. I wonder if you're still in lousy Campbell River working behind a desk. Granted, I love our job, but I hope that at 30 you are making something better of yourself. It's odd to think one day I'll be 30. Hey, maybe I'll get hit by a van at 21, and I'll never see 30. But I am assuming you'll still be chubby, baby-faced, making no progress. I sincerely hope not. If we have a daughter, please name her perfectly, and if we have a son, you know what to do. I hope that our child(ren) is/are beautiful, and that their father (?) will love them to no end. I hope Phoenix and Anubis are still there and they're lovely older men. I wonder if they'll ever settle down? I'm sure whatever life you live is where we want to be, and I trust you.

76. When did you first realize that one day you would be old, and someday, die?

I honestly don't remember. I was probably young.

77. Describe what it was like to fall in love.

Oh boy. This one's going to be good....okay. The first time, it was easy. Effortless. I fell in love with my best friend; we already knew each other inside and out, we were intricately connected on a deep level that only friendship can give you. We were inseperable...still are, really. The second time...it was painful, because I loved two at once. Why did my heart think I could take that? So I left the first to pursue the second, thinking that this was what I wanted. When he left me, I went back to the first, despite the rule that states never going back to exes. There are a couple other stories in between, but the end fact is that falling in love is hard, it's easy, it's painful, and it's wonderful! It's something everyone needs to experience at least once, and if nothing else, the pain lets you know that you're still alive, and that you're still something that's real, something that feels. Sometimes it can feel like you're losing yourself in the other person. I have to assume this happens to everyone...

78.Explain how you chose your career path.

When I was a kid I always wanted to be a vet. When I needed a job, a couple of years ago now, my friend pointed out the dog boarding ad and, desperate, I applied that day. The manager seemed to like me but they went through a couple other applicants before finally hiring me. I worked in boarding for 8 months until it shut down, then they kept me in grooming to cover another lady's vacation to China, and halfway through, one of their receptionists took sick and was going to be off for six months, so they offered me her position. In January, it was determined she wasn't coming back, so I was made permanent, and have since been working happily up front. It's kind of a funny thing that I wanted to be a vet as a child and now I work with them. I work in the treatment room too, so I get to be alongside the doctors and help them out. It's fun, exhausting, nerveracking, but I'm getting better, and it's good. I'm happy there.

79. When have you realized you were really wrong in your judgement of someone?

I don't know...I don't really judge people..if I can help it. It's hard to judge people based on anything really, but like everyone else I'm not perfect, I'm sure I've made a wrong judgement of someone, I just don't remember an instance at this time.

80. How do you react when you've made a mistake?

Usually I feel like shit, especially if it's something important. Like, leaving air bubbles in the IV line accidentally, or forgetting to turn something off, or leaving the door open.