Dancing in the Dark

We're going clubbing tonight. Eek. We're in Nanaimo for the long weekend staying in my sister's dorm room. A bit odd..but okay.
Boyfriend and I are no more. I discovered on his Facebook page today that he's ALREADY in a relationship with someone else. A little quick on the rebound, are we?
Made me feel like shit, anyway. Clearly I wasn't all that important in the first place. It looks like it's been going on for a bit...and she was never mentioned to me (I only know this because he replied to my 'that was fast' with 'it wasn't all that quick'). Delightful.
So I'm spending a weekend of doing nothing but what I want to...no kittens to wake me up, no work to drag me down, just me and my lovely and my sister, chillin' in Nanaimo. We're headed to a club later called Level 2...it's supposed to be fun. Who knows.
Anyway at the university there's all these bunnies running around...I took a picture of this little white one who hopped right up to us under the cover of a bush that seperated us from him/her. It was so cute.

Well...I guess that's all for now. We're gonna go get ready for clubbing. Yikes. It's the first time we've ever done something like this! Goodnight, un-readers. 

Jitters

Today I did my first close alone. It was easier than I thought it'd be. It was a busier day, so I didn't have to spend so much time thinking. Which was good, because there are a million things I could have been thinking about.

But, tomorrow evening, I'll be heading to Nanaimo for the weekend (after I get off work, of course) to shop, go clubbing, and take in my sister's university production of Romeo and Juliet. It's going to be fantastic. And, the welcome relief of a break from everything will certainly help too.

Premonition

Yeah, there's no way I could actually have a good, relaxingly slow day at work. 

Boyfriend came back from his trip and now I have to deal with our "long talk" this evening. Ugh..

Wish me luck that it goes well, will ya?

Lyric: "Don't stop believing, hold on to that feeling!" - Don't stop Believing, Journey

Quote: "I bleed for a week and don't die. What's your superpower?" - I don't remember where it came from, but come on. LOL

Picture: ...another lol :D

Hehe. Goodnight...tomorrow will probably be a long one.

Can I fix it?

Crazy day at work.

First order of business - I have good news and I have bad news.

The bad news is...a small kitten (about three months old) came in on an emergency due to being attacked in the night by some unknown creature...probably another cat, or even a raccoon. She was in pretty bad shape...lots of blood and mrs crying. It was not nice. Our lady dr did her best, and by lunch hour she was starting to turn around. She mewed and shifted, and even opened her eyes a little bit. We were all overjoyed! We managed to save a little baby cat's life. It was delightful...until later that afternoon, when my colleague mentioned to me that the mrs' daughter and son would be coming by later to pick up the remains. I gasped. Audibly, so it's a good thing no one was in the foyer waiting. Apparently, it just so happened that while being outside all night, kitten got a bad case of pneumonia or something like that, and being gradually warmed up raised her body temperature enough for her sickness to really take hold and kick her to the curb. So, we didn't really save a kitty. It really isn't fair.

More bad news. I booked a euthanasia appointment for a dog I know (not personally, but as far as the clinic's concerned, I know of this dog). It was kind of sad...since the dog's 16 and he isn't doing so well anyway, but since everyone thought he'd be the "old man" who stuck it out. He gave it his all, he really did. So that's happening tomorrow. It'll be hard...since it's the first euth I'll have done start to finish.

BUT...

Now for the good news!

As of today, my semi-temporary 6 month only job became permanent! I was so happy. We're still not sure if the original girl that I'm replacing is coming back, but regardless, I have a permanent job now! Another of my colleagues is moving away next June with her husband, so I get to stick around! It's awesome.

More good news...I met a little puppy who was just so sweet and wiggly and cute, and loves to snuggle! I helped trim her nails (okay, I held her, but it was still awesome). And I met a little kitten who was thought to be a girl, but really turned out to be a boy. So that was kind of a serendipity jolt to the afternoon.

And then, after all that, the phone kept ringing off the hook, and driving everyone crazy! It just wouldn't stop! And I sold so much Advantage today I now know where in the clinic it resides and how to "fill" the order myself...the Techs pretty much said (while dealing with the emergency) "it's over there on that shelf, grab what you need." So now I can do it on my own!

Anyway, time for today's lyric, quote, and picture. Despite the rather depressing end to the day, I'm still in a chipper mood and will probably sleep well tonight.

Lyric: "Look at us, baby, look at us now." - Look at us, Sarina Paris

Okay. No quote, since I can't think of one.

Picture: Yep. That's about it.

Goodnight

A 2 post day

Looks like it, anyway. I have updates for this morning, and then I'll probably post tonight about the rest of my day and my decision, if possible.
So last night I spent about an hour off an on crying, snuggled up in a blanket on the couch. I didn't really understand why. It's a bit pathetic, but I felt the need to go on about it like I go on about everything else in my sad little life. Anyway, I was just so sad, and I didn't know why, but I couldn't stop it. Maybe it's the fact that Boyfriend wants me to get married to him based off a week of dizzy sex and dream making. Maybe it's the fact that he bought me an engagement ring I told him not to buy...maybe it's all going so fast, maybe it's just too scary. Maybe I'm a coward who never does anything with herself. I mean..what have I really done? I have a fantastic job on a fluke. It was a job I started at a year ago, on the suggestion from my (at the time) girlfriend, that I didn't even want to apply to. It's a little weird that way. Anyway...my point is, I got into something amazing without wanting to get into it, so maybe this engagement will be okay. But I find myself worrying that because he's already bought the ring, I HAVE to accept just because he's already got it, and spent all the money and time to come and see me for a week or so. I just...feel an engagement shouldn't be based on an online "relationship" and then a week of being together, and then a proposal. It's just scary.
Ex thinks I need someone who will be loyal to me, only me, and not go off on a five-day fuck spree. Yeah. I said that.
I doubt if he'll actually read this, since he's obviously...otherwise engaged (what a delightful pun), but I'm saying it anyway. And I LOVE my life here. I love my job, my beautiful kittens Phoenix and Anubis (who woke me up this morning by snuggling on either side of me), my living situation isn't perfect but I'm dealing, and the city, while generally unloved by the public, is magnificently beautiful, green, and fresh-smelling. Besides, Boyfriend doesn't even like the ocean, which is something I've lived beside all my life. I mean...he's so sweet and caring, and I really care about him a lot, but I can't seem to explain myself in a way that won't hurt him. I can see myself with him. I just can't see myself with a fiancee who isn't in the town, much less the country! I'm just...terrified, and my roommate thinks it's a very bad idea, since Boyfriend doesn't seem to really listen to my opinion on things (I didn't want to go long distance, he kept pushing until I gave in; I didn't like the sound of the ring he chose and told him not to buy it, he bought it anyway; I mentioned I was -thinking- about saving up for a visit in May, he considers it our -wedding-). It sounds terrifying, and probably very dangerous, since we're both pretty damaged.
Yes, he's the sweetest man I've ever known. He'd be willing to do anything for me, and I'm tossing it out the door because I'm scared of getting marred at 20 based on a couple of weeks of getting to know each other in real life. I want true romance, and he's so willing to give me that, but it's difficult when he has no idea what I'm like in person. I have never had a boy interested in me, in real life. I have to imagine, based on evidence, that the only men who will ever be interested in me don't truly know me. It's an upsetting notion.
I'll post again later...I have to try and cheer myself up.